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How to Poo at work –Would you buy such a guide?

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How to Poo at work – Would you buy such a guide?


How to poor at work - e book – all rights reserved

There are many how to websites and how to books and e-books already. The instant I want to do something I don’t know, I jump on to how to and as always I find something helpful.

Today in my search for the next rare gifts I stumbled upon “ The how to poo at work –e book”, and I was like what the heck is this? It made me crack up big time! Nevertheless, I felt this is a nice bizarre gift for someone.


I for one, never thought that someone will ever think of writing a book as such, let alone putting it on the market. The idea took time to sink in as I was trying to imagine what the author Mats was thinking when he wrote the e book “How to Poo at work.”

I tried to put myself in his shoes, then I thought wait a minute, do I really need to put myself in his shoes? I work too and I have my own experience with da-da-da at work.


In a flash the picture of unflushed toilets, haphazardly flushed toilets , the markings, the dried soil shoes prints on the toilet seats, the clogged toilet basins, the toilet paper all over the floor, the wet toilet floor and the wet toilet paper at my work place’s toilets came to mind. Generally speaking the toilets in my office building are quite clean and this is the case in Japan, but it is during the lunch breaks when everyone wants to use the toilets, the nasty stuff occurs.

Messy Toilet
Bone S, CC BY 2.0 Via Flickr




“How to Pooh at Work guide book is a good idea after all!” I thought to myself. So I decided to check it out to see if it was really worth it at $31.10. However, from my soul-searching efforts, I had some expectations on what advice or guidance should be in the book. Before the purchase, I took time to write down my expectation and below you’ll find my simple but direct forward guidelines that I expected to see in the book .

     1.Your waste is your responsibility.

Every time you go to the washroom remember that your waste is your responsibility and be ready to take care of it no matter what. If you can’t take care of it, make an effort to notify the cleaner, at this point you can report it in a manner that suggests you didn’t do it in the first place to save face but don’t blame anyone falsely.

Clean the toilet
Giftsrama -all rights reserved

   2. Keep down the noise.

The toilet is a place for flatulence, but mind the noise and keep it low especially when there are people in the toilet.

   3. Use the tissue neatly.

Use the tissue without leaving unecessary tissue clutters about and try to set it up nicely for the next user.

   4. Leave the tissue dry.

Try not to make the tissue wet, but if it happens to get wet, try to unroll it until the wet part is gone. If it is too wet to be unrolled then replace the wet tissue with a new dry tissue and set the wet one aside.

   5. Minimize eye contact.

Around the toilet minimize eye contact but don’t totally avoid eye contact as it will feel awkward.

   6. Simple conversation when necessary.

Toilet encounters are awkward enough in the first place so a total avoidance of conversation would feel so awkward.  Minimum conversation with coworkers would ease things up a bit.

   7. Keep the floor dry.

If you wet the floor by chance, then use the tissue available to dry it up.

   8. Use the toilet as prescribed.

Sit and use the toilet when using sitting toilets. That is, don’t squat on sitting toilets. Squat when using squatting toilets.

Toilet Rules
Krawallmaedchen, M.
CC BY-NC 2.0 Via Flickr


   9. Don’t smoke in the toilet.

These days toilets are no smoking zones in many countries and most office buildings have smoke detectors. If you want your company’s wrath, smoke in the toilet.



  10. Wash hands properly.

Obviously the main reason is hygiene but at work place such hygiene relate to public relation.

You might have bad habits at home, but at work place you don’t want people to start avoiding your handshake, high fives or fist pumps just because someone noticed you never wash hands after the your business in the toilet.


I felt like I could add a little more to the list but 10 is a good number to start with. Not too long and not too short.

Do you have any points you would like to add on the list? If so please put them down in the comments box.

The shopping part of it

To my surprise I found various books depicting the same cover and title but different in price. The book with Mats and Enzo’s name is the most expensive at $31.10 for a new paper back? Kindle versions are much cheaper though, I got mine at $5.75 luckily, but after buying I saw another much cheaper copy. It seemed the price depends on the version. The copy by Prion goes for a shockingly $2.99 but if you click this link depending on where you are the cost might change. In my case I clicked this link only to find that I needed to pay $5.7 5 for a kindle version.

After buying, I found another cheaper publish going by the name “works” selling at under $2. Works only sell used paper backs so if you are willing to wait to get your hands on a hard copy it’s a good choice.

Now you know where to find the book at an affordable price, don’t hesitate to satisfy your curiosity.

Disclosure: The Amazon links on this post are affiliate links, meaning at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.


My find after reading “How to Poo at work”


The book started quite strongly with a legit reason why Mats decided to write the book. Then it went on quoting great toilets etiquette Guru Tom Hayat an his book “Real Social Working Dynamics for Water Closets”. The reader would also learn how respected Tom Hayat was and that he had been nominated a number of times for the noble prize. The author then introduced Tom Hayat’s six N rules and gave an impression that the book will adopt the six rules. This set the tone as a quite serious guide book for business people. (Point of concern: I tried to search for the guy Tom Hayat but didn’t find anyone fitting the bill. I also tried searching the acclaimed publication on MIT, the golden toilet brush awards 1992 which were all connected to Tom Hayat but nothing came up).


Three main situations, problems and solutions are addressed in the entire book. The three situations can be easily found on the table of contents. They are:

  1. Problems on the way to the toilet.
  2. Plroblems on the spot and
  3. Problems on the way out from the toilet.

I thought that was brilliant!



The problems and situations were well thought of. It is something one can easily relate to, but the solutions therein are firstly not so professional and secondly, quite kiddish to be honest.

There were a lot of blame games or trying to cheat out of a toilet situation one is in at any cost even if one has to accuse someone else falsely.

Just to give you a peek of the first situation:

You are stuck in a meeting and you can’t resist a flatulence.


  • Pick the quietest and most reserved colleague at the table.
  • Simulate a loud flatulence while continuing to concentrate with the discussion.
  • Do that again and give your target a suspicious stare.
  • Do that again and get up while exclaiming “for heaven’s sake, and call the name of your target.
  • And this goes on until finally you storm out calling your colleague what a pig!

This is then followed by an expert opinion that says:

When I was working in a big company, I used to accuse the same colleague all the time. Though he never did anything as “fartman” to the whole company.


The whole book unfolds with a problem, solution and finally an expert opinion.


If you are thinking of a serious professional guide book to help you survive the toilet issues at work, then you better sit down and start drafting your own guidelines as I did. However, if you want to read a guide that is more of Mr Beans acts of black jokes for a laugh then Mat’s book would really be great for that. In the bright side, the book can be a great gift that would keep someone smiling to himself at work whenever such awkward toilet problems occur. In addition as I mentioned before the problems and situations in the books are quite thoughtful so in my opinion to get the most out of the book is to go through the problems and situations, then come up with workable professional solutions.

After the read, what is your take on this subject – How to poo at work – e-book?

I am looking forward to reading your comments.


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6 thoughts on “How to Poo at work –Would you buy such a guide?

  1. OMG …move over Shakespeare Mat has arrived and as for Mid summers night dream your outta here a true classic has been born lol …I honestly would never have thought this was a genuine read If you hadn’t written a review about it.
    Half way through I thought about who I could give this to as a gift. And I do believe it has my brothers name on it. that type of humor would tickle him silly 🙂

  2. I’m still laughing. People don’t like talking about Poo and I find this so funny
    This article is so cool and I hope millions of people visit to see the humor offered here
    Love it

    1. Hi Vicki,

      Thank you for reading my post and had so much fun with it. And thank you for the positive feedback. I hope many people read this too. Please help me spread the love to your network.

  3. Wow that was surprising. You learn something every day. I didn’t even know that there was a How to Poo at work e-book out there. That is good to know the do’s and don’t in the work place bathroom. Thank you for your information.
    To your success.

    1. Hello Mary,

      Thank you for reading my post and leaving your comments. I was pretty surprised too when I found it. It seems like all How to guides are out there.

      Thank you!

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